This Relationship Life: Benefits

Now that I'm in a relationship, I get all the great benefits that come from having a devoted girlfriend. Someone to share new experiences, passions, dreams and other cheesy things with. Someone to give me a massage after lifting 5 times my weight at the gym. Someone to laugh with, or doze off on the couch with on a rainy day. But above all, someone with access to Costco.

More important than pudding, or watching a Mets game with me, I've realized what I was always looking for was a woman with membership to those sacred halls. I was in Costco once, with a former employer, and marveled at the great LCD TV deals they had: buy 4, get 2 free. However, I didn't fully get to appreciate the size of the store, or it's shopping carts, or the people inside, until recently. I saw a man with a double sized shopping cart filled past the brim, which isn't uncommon there. However, the entire cart was devoted to 50 giant-sized boxes of Instant Quaker Oats. Where else will you see dedication to healthy eating like this?

For me, Costco is all about the Skippy peanut butter deal. Two sixty four ounce jars for $8. They must be out their damned minds! Unfortunately, that only lasts me about two weeks, because I'm a glutton. That's fine though, because in two weeks, I can get another 5 pound bottle of honey for .20 cents an ounce less than the supermarket. Comparative shopping and buying in bulk are what keep me happy.