Say Goodbye to Scurvy

A funny thing happened on the way to the grocery store.  Well, to be accurate, it happened in the grocery store.  And it was more of an almost-financial-disaster that one could chuckle to later, if one was a chuckler.  I made the cardinal mistake of going to the grocery store hungry, which inevitably leads me to buying lots of things in the candy / cookie / 10 pound sack of meat range.  So I wasn't too surprised when I rolled up to the cash register and the total was a bit more than my usual $50.00*

I was, however, a bit surprised when my total came to well over $500.00.  Turns out, the cashier had rung me up for 495 limes.  Seriously.  I don't think there are even 495 limes in all of the grocery stores IN Maine, let alone available for me to purchase at one outlet, presumably to make mojitos for...Mexico.  The whole country.  Better yet, the system required the CEO of the supermarket to come do the override, as there's a limit to how much you can deduct from a bill, despite an egregious error.  The moral of the story being if you do buy 495 limes, you're pretty much stuck with them.  So, make limeade.  Which the sheer volume of could cure all pirates ever of scurvy.

*American dollars, though Maine IS dangerously close to loonies, and, no joke, twonies.  Hell, I don't know how to spell it.

The Move

On February 28th, 2014, I made a bold move and left New York City, a place I had lived for the so-far-32.5 years of my entire life*, and moved to Portland.  No, not west-coast Portland.  It took about 10 times of people freaking out and asking me if I was going to become a Seahawks fan before I started saying "I'm moving to Maine...Portland, Maine."  Previous to this, my biggest jump had been from Queens to Brooklyn, and while switching boroughs might mean people questioning your loyalty and ability to still proclaim "QUEENS, WHAT!"**, there's a lot less to plan for and preparation involved.

I had been offered a better job at a company in Portland, so my timing was based on when they wanted me to start.  I had hoped for a leisurely 3 month transition period, which most people would use to sell the apartment they co-owned, visit Portland and find an apartment their, pack, etc., but which I hoped to milk vacation days at my current job.  Not me.  I was finally able to answer questions about where I was going to live when an apartment essentially fell in my lap two weeks before I was to leave.  My priorities were such that I researched how to get a library card before I thought about hiring movers to help upon arrival.  Whatever.  It worked out.  I'm now jacked AND I have a list of books on hold at the Portland Public Library, main branch.

*unless you count the ages of 0 to 3, and I do not.

**traded in for a rowdy, prolonged "BROOOOOOK-LYN"