Obama. Yea, That's All. Obama.

So Obama has won the election, and I couldn't be happier. The only thing that's bringing me down is he hasn't properly thanked me yet. Yea, that's right. It was all me. You're welcome, Barack. Not only did I provide extensive coverage by writing about him twice (this counting as the second time), but I drove down to Philadelphia and volunteered for his campaign. Sure, it was only four hours, and a lot of the time I sounded like a robo-call, and my main reasons for going were to flirt with campaign ladies and eat a philly cheese steak, but still.

Oh, now that Barack is president-elect, everything is going to turn around and the country will become perfect again. Don't let anyone bring you down from euphoria, especially not that jerk Human Dynamo. It's gonna be like magic, you'll see.