Wacky World of Wisteria

Wisteria can't actually be photographed in focus

Oh wait, that's gotta be wrong. Wisteria, the invasive kind, before the flowers open.

Strangely octopus looking, asparagus crown and roots sits perched on raised bed, jr., ready to pounce on unsuspecting sparrows and children.

Overview of the West Wing of the garden, including my new Stonehenge protection circle for squash

Cherry tree in bloom and towels that should be thrown out, most likely.

The Cat, The Sunburn and the BBQ

How we roll on nice days

I thought I could only get sunburned if I was at the beach. Three hours in the garden proved me wrong.

Ok, so there's no lion, witch or wardrobe, but it felt like we were in a magical land when it started snowing cherry blossom petals on us.

Jenny fears for her life after Jamie dumped gallons of gasoline on the charcoal.

Kitty wants to play with a stick, or at least let me poke you with it?

Awww. So much more adorable than the feral kind.

Toys. Again.

Insurgent Wilderness Gruppo's (I.W.G.) Burnum the platypus is deadly with his boomerang against bad humans; N8 Van Dyke's Payday just wanted to deposit a check and ended up foiling a bank robbery, stealing one of the gunman's walrus mask, gun and money sack.

Adult Swim x Kid Robot's blind box Series 1 aren't all great. Looking at you, Squidbillies.

Buckeye Rot just don't give a what.

More of Kozik's Chumps

IWG's mini flocked Titus the grizzly bear (with sniper rifle), Affonso the rhino (with automatic) and Hannibal the gorilla (with grenade and bandolier but no way to deliver bullets to target) guard my pumpkin.

Nahual's Jaguar Dunny from the Azteca series; Reach, Series 5; Devilrobots, Series 5; Mad, Series 5. I love a detecting Dunny.

Mr. Jago's Teddy Troops Series 3.

For The Ci-tay

Spring in Brooklyn and Manhattan

Wait up! Wesley, wait up!

April 15, 2009. This means two things. HD just hit 28 on the age scale and taxes are due. Only one of those usually leads to poor saps across the country crying and fretting, and this year I found myself counted in that group. At 2:15 PM, on the day they were due, I finally made sense of all the convoluted extra forms a sole-proprietor and Brooklyn's handsomest man is burdened with filling out, deleted the 17 extra mentions of my pimp van as a work vehicle and decided not to include money I made from robbing trains and stagecoaches as earned income. Worst that can happen, I flee to the Cayman Islands or some other nation that doesn't extradite and spend my days with Wesley Snipes, laughing at the government while playing pickup ball on the streets. At least this way I'll always be protected from vampires and be able to practice my hustling techniques.

My Raised Beds Bring All the Vegetables to the Yard

Raised bed, raised bed, what you gonna do when asparagus grows out of you and feeds me?

Three dollar bird feeder plus song bird food equals loud blue jay screeching.

Potimarron squash secured in it's hexagonal, cinder block protected home.

Potimarron squash's roots. And my hand.

You're a Tree By the Way, Part 4: Beauty is But Fleeting

Unfortunately, the beauty that is an apricot tree in full bloom is but fleeting. Strong winds, careless prods with a paint brush and natural life cycle cause the event to only last a week at the most. After, one is reminded of the splendor by the tiny white petals that dot the landscape and the stamens and pistils and all the other private parts that stay affixed to the tree.

Note the McFarlane Joey Harrington in the lower right hand

Ooooh, artsy!

Ok, so far only 1 or 2 flowers have dropped, but you can imagine if there were more, right?

The Manger's Lamb Was Made of Marzipan

Every year for the last 7 or 8, Rosemary, DJ's Sicilian mom, invites HD, Janet and I over for Easter and Christmas meals, which are always extravagant authentic Italian feasts. Most everything has stuffing in it as well. My favorite part of the meal is the shuschetta, which I can't actually spell. It's straciatella (chicken soup with eggs) with meatballs in it, and would easily beat up other soups. I've been coming to Rosemary's house since DJ and I first became friends 14 years ago, and relish these chances to come back to a second home, to feel at ease and enjoy good food, good wine and great company. Plus, there's always a ton of marzipan.

Here Janet takes photos of the straciatella plus meatballs soup. She uses a camera.

In this photo, Janet can't figure out the cheese grater, because it's not a camera.

Stuffed mushrooms AND stuffed peppers?!?!?! WOWOWOWOWOW!

The candy basket was made out of solid chocolate and had stale Peeps, Rosemary's favorite, in them. I brought home a huge chunk.

Janet didn't like that I took a photo of her with her eyes closed. She probably should have kept them open then.

Dear Mike Birbiglia

Dear Mike Birbiglia,

I'd like to apologize for pointing and looking like a jackass when I saw you in the lobby of a building on Broadway. I was going there with a photographer I work for to make some prints for his portfolio, and when I realized the man in the lobby in a spacesuit was one of my favorite comedians, I couldn't control myself. As the realization dawned on me that you weren't a cosmonaut or Buzz, my brain sent information to my arm and told it to point, almost obnoxiously. It was very kind of you to say, in an exaggerated way since you were on the other side of glass, "I know. I'm in a spacesuit!" It wasn't the outlandish outfit, which you were wearing for your upcoming tour with Comedy Central that will be unbelievably hysterical, that caused me to be excited and querulous, but more so just your presence. I never get to run into people I admire or am starstruck by (sorry whichever Olsen twin I was on the shoot with), and so I couldn't think of much more to say than how much I loved your off Broadway "Sleepwalk With Me" and how funny I think you are. I wish I had thought to shake your hand, or get a photo with you, or ask if I could shoot a portrait of you someday, or see if you perhaps wanted to grab a beer and talk about the Muppets, because maybe that's something you like also. Let's be honest; it's hard not to.

At first I was sort of glad I didn't wear my "I'm a bear, etc." shirt, because that would be embarrassing. On the other hand, maybe if I had, you'd know I'm a fan and even though we differ in opinion on bears, that's what we could talk about over beers. Well, I hope you had a good shoot. I saw the promo photo and your facebook shot, and they looked good. I may comment on your page or send fan mail, but by now, you've probably forgotten about me in the sea of people who pointed at the man in a space suit. Good luck on the tour and hopefully I'll get to sit front row at another show.

Your friend (well, not really, but I could be),
Larry

You're a Tree By the Way, Part 3: The Blooming

Apricot trees in New York and other colder places, like Scotland and Sweden and Connecticut, need to be manually pollinated. This is much less dirty than it sounds. Since bees are still sleeping when King Cot gets his (or her) little flowers, a soft paint brush must be taken and tickle each flowers private places.

Wisteria lives in the shadow of my apricot tree. And the metal bars on my window.

You're a Tree By the Way, Part 2: The Logging

Gary, my retired phone worker/current clown-for-hire neighbor, climbs a ladder and uses a tool from Old Bethpage to cut down a "tree of heaven"




Apricot tree is about to bloom, showering the earth with beautiful white blossoms. Also, ladder.



Apricot tree loves Wu-Tang; elm tree prefers scraping windows



The string beans are coming, the string beans are coming!



My blueberry bush is budding; preparing a second raised bed for asparagus.