Office Job Pitfalls

I recently tricked an old boss into giving me a job at the stock photography company she's running, which is great for me, because I like getting paid.  It allows me to live indoors (which is very important to me in the winter), and buy food to eat, and do other things that allow me to keep living.  I've been at the job now for about 5 months, and it's been going swimmingly.  Mostly.  It took me a while to overcome my biggest hurdle, which was salutations.


As part of my job, I had to call and email a lot of photographers.  It was easy enough to sign off my emails with "Thanks, L Bo," but I wanted something a little more fun and creative.  Many of our photographers are British, which allows them to casually and breezily say things like "Cheers," to end a conversation.  I, however, am American, and on top of that, not nearly cool enough to use that phrase on the phone, and in an email, it feels like I'm cheating.  I've tried many incarnations on the phone, like "talk to you soon," which is often a lie; "have a great day," which makes me sound like a salesman; and "sincerely," which doesn't even make sense.  I've finally settled on "Toodles," or "Ta-ta for now," when it's more formal.  Obstacle hurdled.

This Dating Life: Back Again, Surprise!

Conversation with woman from online dating site who I never met, but spoke with 6 months ago, then started dating someone else, now back in the dating game, and hoping to woo her into going out with me, since she was of the mind set that I was very inconsistent and inconsiderate:


Scorned woman: What do you do for a living?  I've forgotten


Me, pluckily: I'm a CIA agent/photographer/urban farmer/leg model


Her: unemployed?


Me, truthfully for the first time in too long, and triumphantly: Actually, no


Her: I'm guessing you are a photographer


Me, hysterically: That's cause you haven't seen my legs yet


Her, in a textual tone that let me know my goal wasn't working: Oh god


Me, trying to answer for real:  I am a photographer.  I'm working at a photo agency right now.  I teach. And I AM an urban farmer.  But I'm not a hipster.


Her, possibly disappointedly, and definitely breaking fundamental rules of English 101: But you aren't a leg model.  And you aren't a CIA agent.


Me: I can't confirm or deny that last one.


In the end, my charisma, charm and pluckiness won out and we went on some dates.  I ended up ending it, rather inconsiderately.