St. Lucia Vol. 6 - Return of the LLB

As mentioned previously, I wasn't as enthusiastic about my return to St. Lucia initially. As the trip got closer, I became more and more detached, not planning anything and adopting a false sense of "been there, done that." All that changed when I remembered about LLB. LLB, for those ignorant and lazy folks who refuse to embrace what is amazing, stands for Lemon, Lime and Bitters, and is basically the nectar of the gods. Imported from Trinidad, it's sold everywhere that's anywhere in St. Lucia. My (failed) goal was to come back the sole distributor to the US of this delicious beverage.

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Last trip, we had Ghost who hooked us up. The role of random (to me, at least) person who made St. Lucia a more fun place fell on Dynamo's "Auntie" Tina this time. Auntie Tina was Super Lucian, and also super Lucian. It felt as if she knew everyone on the entire island, and wouldn't hesitate to chew anyone out in Patois if she felt they were messing with Dynamo or I for being "tourists." Tina haggled over any price, and set HD up with a woman during his stay. She also made a grand entrance to Ma Silla's birthday party celebration, resplendent in a bright pink dress. I wouldn't have expected anything less.

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This year, we traveled in even more style for Fish Fridays in Gros Islet. Dynamo and I got to ride in the back of Tina's friend's pickup truck and mock all the white folk tourists. I love fitting in. We first went to a tiny place in the middle of nowhere, where folk from all over the island would gather and see friends they hadn't seen all week to have fun, drink some beer and eat some delicious fish of the sea. There was lubbie (weird Lucian name for conch), grilled snapper and, if you knew the cook, turtle. I'm honestly not sure of the legality of eating turtle, and I don't know if it was a tortoise or a sea turtle or some other kind, but it was so delicious, it made my morals cry. Afterwards, we headed to the larger party in Gros Islet, which inexplicably, was run by Guiness. Guiness. The Irish dark stout. What island people want with that man?

The atmosphere, as always, was lively. Vendors in stalls covered most of the area: jewelry (handmade and junk for tourists), fish, chicken, stews and fried bake, shandy, Piton beer and most other beverages people would want. No fresh juice or LLB, though. I called bullshit. Auntie Tina got HD and me coconuts. When I told her mine had no juice in it, she got outraged and demanded a new one. Turns out, my straw was just broken. White people! There was a DJ spinning and people dancing, everyone closely clustered together. In the midst of all this beautiful movement, it started raining. That didn't stop it. We just stood in the rain, drinking beer, having fun and dancing. Well, HD was dancing. I was playing the wall, without a wall to lean on. I proved my theory that you don't need to dance to have fun...and then I went home early.

St. Lucia Vol. 3 - Back to the Future

In honor of Pkilla's birthday that I managed to miss while stalking crabs on beautiful tropical beaches, I'm going to predict the events of the last day of my trip. This is no easy task, mind you, as I'm figuring out what will happen...in the FUTURE!!

I see...catastrophe. Yes, it's not quite clear what will happen, but I detect broken glass (everywhere) and a sweet smell. There's much buzzing about the place, but for Human Dynamo, there will be nothing sweet.

My bag will be so heavily laden with delicious LLB that it will take 7 porters to carry it 3 feet, and then they'll have to rest. So worth it.

Psychically, I'm deducing I'll spend the short plane ride from St. Lucia to San Juan exactly as I would hope...by reading about Genghis Khan's treasure and lost tomb, and sleeping. Then, I'll have mediocre mexican food at the airport terminal, and on the flight back I'll watch a movie that I will later forget all about.

Despite my best efforts to recreate the Caribbean feel by constantly saying "ye, man," something will feel amiss. Perhaps losing my minority status?

St. Lucia Vol. 3 - Back to the Future

In honor of Pkilla's birthday that I managed to miss while stalking crabs on beautiful tropical beaches, I'm going to predict the events of the last day of my trip. This is no easy task, mind you, as I'm figuring out what will happen...in the FUTURE!!

I see...catastrophe. Yes, it's not quite clear what will happen, but I detect broken glass (everywhere) and a sweet smell. There's much buzzing about the place, but for Human Dynamo, there will be nothing sweet.

My bag will be so heavily laden with delicious LLB that it will take 7 porters to carry it 3 feet, and then they'll have to rest. So worth it.

Psychically, I'm deducing I'll spend the short plane ride from St. Lucia to San Juan exactly as I would hope...by reading about Genghis Khan's treasure and lost tomb, and sleeping. Then, I'll have mediocre mexican food at the airport terminal, and on the flight back I'll watch a movie that I will later forget all about.

Despite my best efforts to recreate the Caribbean feel by constantly saying "ye, man," something will feel amiss. Perhaps losing my minority status?