Beardsley

I've been growing a huge beard for about 4 months now, chin-strapped on the sides and long in the goatee area. My mom and sister hate it and I'm scared they'll shave it off when I sleep. So I moved and didn't tell them where to. They told me I look like Abraham Lincoln, which I think is a great compliment. He was one of our greatest presidents, after all. Between that and my current elevated position at the Census, I'm sure I'll be able to make a strong run for US Senate next year. Or whenever they wanna let me apply for that job.

When You Get a New Car...

And you're feelin like a star
What you gonna do?
GHOST RIDE IT!

This is the mantra, the theme song, of the insanely brilliant ghost riding movement. Long languishing in the defined and dark shadow of regular driving, ghost riding has finally broken free. No longer will it be considered second rate, behind rolling down the strip in your whip. Ghost riding, like the proverbial adolescent who rejects his father to become his own man, has rejected conventional wisdom, safety concerns and common sense and can proudly say, "I'm my own man!"

A weekend in Amherst spent watching Rihanna videos* (good god!), Ghost Riding The Whip 4: Ghost Ride It! and other crap on youtube has taught me many valuable things. For one, ghost rided the whip, not ghost rode the whip as many mistakenly believed, is the past tense of ghost ride the whip. The other is that ghost riding was/is so popular because secretly, all rappers want to ride floats in a parade.

*PS Rihanna's military outfit seems quite functional.

EXTENSION! EXTENSION!

I know how this sounds (mostly because HD told me how it sounds) but I decided to go for an extension on my taxes this year since everyone at work was talking about how great extensions are and how they're easy to get. I didn't think to ask them how to get one, thinking all I'd have to do is go to the IRS' website and there'd be a link that said "want an extension? click here!" and it wouldn't lead me to some weird porn site.

Apparently, in order to get an extension you actually have to do your taxes, or at the very least estimate them, and pay them first. If you underestimate your taxes, you can be found guilty of something and lose your extension AND be charged a late payment. OF COURSE I WAS GOING TO UNDERESTIMATE THEM! I was going to put in ZERO as my tax liability and figure it out later. Also, any money you don't pay now will actually be charged interest.

Basically, in order to get an extension, you must go through the whole process of filing and paying your taxes anyway. I figured it'd be like when you want an extension on your term paper and you ask the teacher nicely and there are zero penalties or drawbacks or lengthy forms to fill out. Unfair.

FOSin'

The Census Bureau finally recognized the brilliance in front of them and gave me the long over due (read: I was there for 2 months) "promotion." However, since the Census doesn't actually promote people from within, since it makes more sense to hire an outsider who doesn't understand anything about the operation and train them to be a smart and ruggedly handsome man's boss, this was more of a selection to the position of Field Operations Supervisor. I went through a rigid interview process that lasted 2 minutes and mostly comprised of me saying yes. Then I found myself, on an early Monday morning, taking a familiar oath. One to defend the Constitution. One that Congress takes, but with added parts that make it even more oathful. I'm a supervisor now. Shit just got real, enemies of counting.

Black Guy, White Guy

HD and I are going to have a show (if James' ranting about us having a show carries any real world weight) about two friends living together and the important life lessons they learn. Picture the Odd Couple meets Psych meets cosmic awareness. It'll be pithy, fundamentally sound and the two title characters will have great rapport with each other. You can tell all this from the title, which is "Black guy, white guy live together." Look for it to replace anything on the WB, this fall.