Poor NBA Workers, Unite!

HD and I have been playing the Association in NBA 2K10 for 2 seasons now. For those who don't know, you play a full season, with full control over everything on your team, including coaches, and then there's an offseason when you can make trades, sign free agents, draft rookies and improve your players. Your players stats go up by how well they play and how happy they are. We're currently up to re-signing our players, which includes Jamal Crawford, who used to make 9 million dollars a year. I'm not sure if he undervalued himself due to injury, has low self-esteem, really wanted to play for us or what, but he was only asking for a million dollars a year. I thought, great, we can sign another really good free agent and have some money left over. HD, on the other hand, was distressed a little bit by this and thought maybe we should give him more money. His first thought was the worker's don't make enough. We're on the same team here; we're ownership! Dynamo's liberal tendencies are such that he felt VIDEO GAME Jamal Crawford wasn't making enough on his contract and we should help him out, so he could support himself, his video game family and his video game lifestyle.

This Dating Life: Animal Totem Pole

On a recent date, conversation turned to animals (probably when I mentioned the inherent evil in cats) and what our favorite animals were. I said bears, because I hate to lie. The lady, we'll call her Fizz, said she didn't really have a favorite. I was outraged, bewildered and hurt, all at the same time. I told her she had to have a favorite, or at least a couple favorites, like a Pantheon of animals. To have order, there needs to be a totem pole. For example, bears, dogs and tree kangaroos are all at the top, with owls and frogs below them. This organization is for me as much as for them. Bears know exactly where they rank. It alleviates concern, confusion and anxiety. They know when I show up at the zoo, I'm spending most of my time with them. How anyone could operate otherwise confuses and mortifies me!