This Dating Life: Animal Totem Pole

On a recent date, conversation turned to animals (probably when I mentioned the inherent evil in cats) and what our favorite animals were. I said bears, because I hate to lie. The lady, we'll call her Fizz, said she didn't really have a favorite. I was outraged, bewildered and hurt, all at the same time. I told her she had to have a favorite, or at least a couple favorites, like a Pantheon of animals. To have order, there needs to be a totem pole. For example, bears, dogs and tree kangaroos are all at the top, with owls and frogs below them. This organization is for me as much as for them. Bears know exactly where they rank. It alleviates concern, confusion and anxiety. They know when I show up at the zoo, I'm spending most of my time with them. How anyone could operate otherwise confuses and mortifies me!

America's Funniest Bear Videos (in Japanese)

Thanks to Brad for a link that eventually led me to this haunting look inside the mind of the Japanese. I love the Japanese version of Bob Saget commenting as a poor scared bear is forced to play with dangerous monkeys and killer lion cubs, all while goofy sound effects play to show the viewer how funny it is. Ever stop to think maybe this is why Godzilla attacked you?