Facial Recognition Software

From a recent multi-person correspondence, in which Dynamo was asked about his blog going dark as well as the lapses in his roommate's (mine):

I have a roommate? I've often wondered what the tall white guy was up to on the top floor of the flat; I always figured he was some sorta maintenance guy or something. This information comes as quite a relief as he always seemed to be on an extended break; I'd often find him laid out on the couch in front the tv and eating the food from the fridge!

This explains why he's always asking when things will be fixed and trying to give me money.

An Open Letter

Dear KTMO,

I have seen and heard your complaints about no new material on this blog, and want you to know I understand and share your confusion and frustration. I too have felt betrayed that this blog had stopped putting out revelatory and brilliant posts to amuse it's 5 readers. I too wondered why a blog that clearly has a gift for writing and making people laugh would go on hiatus. Perhaps it was hurt by the lack of reader responses, to the blind eye turned, to the inaction of no comments except by guys trying to sell gucci bags. Perhaps the creative and comedic well that supplies this blog with words, dipped into so frequently, had dried up. Or perhaps the blog just had new commitments and other things to do.

Whatever the case may be, I wanted to let you know we value your customer loyalty and hope we can do right by you. It is people like you, complaining about not being entertained and threatening to do bodily harm to the blog, that motivate us to put out a great product and service. We hope you enjoy the new material and pledge to keep updating you on our life more frequently.

Please feel free to constantly tell us what a great job we're doing and how funny we are, and that all of your hot female friends read this and want to sex the creative mind behind this. A lot. And immediately.

Yours truly,
L Bo

Spheres of Knowledge

I've always thought of myself as intelligent and smart. Mostly because people tell me I'm intelligent and smart, but also because I can fill out over HALF of the Metro crossword on a Monday, which is definitely the hardest day of the week. I surround myself with smart friends, and I only date smart women. Recently, however, I was dating a woman who made me question that fundamental belief in my own intelligence.

Some of my friends know things that I don't, and are really into topics, like computers and computer related stuff, that I'm not and I don't get. For example, there have been many conversations with Dynamo that have gone over my head, like this one, this one, or this one. With this lady, I was sometimes in awe of her intelligence. She seemed to constantly be able to speak intelligently and intellectually about whatever was in front of us, wherever we were. Her expertise, including Judaism, things Jews do and do not do, stuff Jews like, art, history of art, Jewish art and it's place in history, gender roles, sex therapy and gay affirmative therapy, seemed to pop up in everyday life all the time. My spheres of knowledge and expertise, which include the Mets, Thor, Green Lantern, bears, planting tomatoes, solving SAT geometry problems and knowing that cats are B-A-D/fundamentally evil, on the other hand, were not common in everyday life ever. Maybe in the future I'll stay out of gay Jewish art museums and stick to dates at Citi Field with women who work at a zoo.