I Can Trick a Twelve Year Old

When asked about how old I was in my SHSAT test prep class, I apparently told one of the girls 55. I say apparently, because I don't always listen to what I say. Additionally, I don't remember doing that, because it's a brush off answer, and 26 years in the future. However, when other girls in the class asked me, this girl said "Oh, he's 55," and then got flustered when I denied that outrageous lie. "But that's what you told me," she whined back.

When I finally admitted I was born in 1981, she confidently yelled out "AHA! You're 31!"

I apparently need to focus more on the math section of the test.

More Conversations With a Student

"I play guitar and I sing"
O, that's cool. Are you in a band with friends or anything?
"No, I don't have time for that," he said, scoffingly.
So, besides school and coming to SAT prep class, I said, expecting a sport or a job, what else do you do?
"Girls."

Honored by Cupcakes

One of the classes I teach for Kaplan, which is designed to get 12/13 year olds into NYC's specialized high schools like Stuyvesant, Brooklyn Tech and Bronx Science, just ended. I was amazed and taken aback a little bit by the outpouring of love from the students. Sure, I'm the world's greatest teacher and ridiculously funny, but even then a 3 hour class can feel like eternity when you've spent all day in school, you were forced to come by your parents, you miss Glee EVERY WEEK!! and your bedtime is before the class is even over. Despite all that, everyone thanked me, told me how much fun they had, and some even brought in food to share for the class, ensuring that the gourmet chocolate chip cookies I brought in would be redundant/cause diabetes. Two of the girls completely outdid themselves (and yes, I'm mentioning them specially here because I know they somehow found my blog and read it to try and get some dirt on me. Hi girls!). One made chocolate chip cookies and the other made cupcakes that all had my name on it in electric blue icing with edible (I hope?) glitter EVERYWHERE. Why can't every day be like that?

Ignoring Me is Bliss

I recently completed teaching my first two live online SAT classes as a TA. The experience is very different from working at a center in front of the students. First off, it's obviously less personal. Secondly, there's WAY more students (40+) to contend with. Thirdly, it's an adjustment getting used to teaching with someone else. It's tough to sit back and work as a team with someone when you're used to being in charge of everything that happens. It's really tough when your teacher sings Miley Cyrus songs to the students. Lastly, pants are completely optional, and as a TA not on camera, so is a shirt.

The software used is fairly interesting. Made by Adobe, the students can all see and hear the teacher while following along with classroom slides and their books. The TA is in charge of a chat box and can send private messages to the students, who communicate their answers and ask questions. In theory, at least. The students actually find facebook a better way to spend their time and don't understand how to scroll up in a chat box, which accounts for the tremendous amount of questions. Students will repeat questions their fellow students just asked as well as questions they themselves just asked! I guess having 2 ways to communicate with students really just gives them two options on how to ignore you best.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things: Environmental Episode

Reading essays from high school juniors can always be enlightening. A recent practice SAT essay asked them if they thought man's progress and respect of nature were compatible ideas and forces. Most of them wrote the same drivel about saving the environment without backing it up. A couple courageously took the "screw nature" approach, again without backing it up. But the truly courageous decided to throw out facts and knowledge. One decided to discuss our tallest skyscrapers, which can reach AMAZING heights of 100 feet, which nature could never top. Another spoke about how nature has been around for ever, even in the "Ice Age, which was too cold for man to even come outside." Maybe it wasn't too cold. Maybe man had gotten stuck in his 2 foot tall apartment building, due to engineering not being invented by an all-knowing 1/2 man, 1/2 mammoth, 1/2 T-Rex king yet.