Kids Say the Darnedest Things: Environmental Episode

Reading essays from high school juniors can always be enlightening. A recent practice SAT essay asked them if they thought man's progress and respect of nature were compatible ideas and forces. Most of them wrote the same drivel about saving the environment without backing it up. A couple courageously took the "screw nature" approach, again without backing it up. But the truly courageous decided to throw out facts and knowledge. One decided to discuss our tallest skyscrapers, which can reach AMAZING heights of 100 feet, which nature could never top. Another spoke about how nature has been around for ever, even in the "Ice Age, which was too cold for man to even come outside." Maybe it wasn't too cold. Maybe man had gotten stuck in his 2 foot tall apartment building, due to engineering not being invented by an all-knowing 1/2 man, 1/2 mammoth, 1/2 T-Rex king yet.

Eureka! A New Theory

I have deduced that tiny fruits are often times the most delicious fruits in the history of fruitdom. To prove this theory, I'd like to introduce exhibit A, satsuma tangerines. Exhibit B, clementines. And finally, Exhibit C. Blueberries. I rest my case. SCIENCE!

Morning Fruit

That's not a salutation, but an opener to a serious discussion on classification. It's simple, really. Apples are not morning fruits. I discovered this while trying to eat an apple with breakfast recently. Something just didn't feel right. Maybe, as Pkilla pointed out, it's the texture. Or maybe she's just bitter at apples because they try to poison her. We'll probably never know. What is considered a breakfast, or "morning," fruit, you might ask, adding the phrase "your excellency," most likely? I'm not entirely sure, but berries are in. So is most citrus, so long as it's not used to make a gin and tonic or ward off scurvy. Bananas, definitely. Most tropical fruits, especially mangoes, papaya, persimmons, kiwis. Figs, yes. Melons, yes. Grapes, ehhh. That's borderline. Raisins, like most dried fruit, fall into the morning category. Plums are more of an afternoon snack, but peaches and nectarines and apricots can be eaten with your Lucky Charms.

It's really just apples that have no place showing up to breakfast, or even brunch, despite all their sly talk of waking you up in the morning better than coffee. One a day might keep the doctor away, but make sure it's after breakfast or you'll hate yourself, is how the saying really went.