Tuesday, December 06, 2011

This Dating Life: Germaphobe

I've dated many, many, MANY (SO MANY) types of women thus far, but have never been involved with a germaphobe. So it was with some trepidation that I continued dating Musical Molly (codenamed for her affinity for musicals) after hearing that she was a self-ascribed germaphobe. New clothes from the store freaked her out, and she would always wash new ladies underwear before wearing it for the first time. Which I found slightly ridiculous, the wearing of underwear that is.

However, it turned out she was just a huge liar. She held hands without any problems. Opened bathroom doors without using my shirt as a barrier. Didn't carry around an industrial size bottle of Purell. And most damning of all, she would routinely pick things up the floor JUST TO SEE WHAT THEY WERE! I'm not talking about thinking there's a 20 dollar bill on a New York City street, I mean random THINGS. When called on her bluff, she would routinely explain she's not "THAT kind of germaphobe." I could understand if the things were shiny, as there's a clear correlation between shiny objects and dragons and women being interested in them, but this was a receipt, or a scrap of paper, or a homeless man's condom. Ugh, I have to go take a hot shower just thinking about it.