Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Lies I've told
Those avid readers of my blog (hi Pris, Dynamo and sometimes mom!!) also happen to be people who know the real life, flesh and blood me as well. I'm sorry for deceiving the entire online community with that last post. In truth, a lot has been going on.
Right before I had blogged about my hatred for Suze Orman (which hasn't really abated) I went to Sint Martin, or St. Maarten as the Dutch prefer, for a photo shoot with work. We rented a 110 foot yacht for a few days and shot black people living luxuriously. I volunteered to model too, but was politely turned down. Something about being too good looking, and needing to man the computer to make sure everything turned out ok. I got to be the digital assistant, which means ensuring all the digital images capture correctly, checking focus, helping Erik, the photographer out in any way possible, making sure there's a minimum of things for me to retouch and flirting withe the pretty models.
It was an amazing shoot, despite the immediate setback of snow storms grounding our original departure. This slightly messed things up, as we were more rushed on the yacht and I lost out on a full day vacation on the island. I felt extraordinarily useful and an integral part of the shoot. In fact, when we got back the head of the department told me the shoot wouldn't have happened without me. The days were long, as the makeup artist and I stayed onshore while the rest of the crew and cast were all on the yacht. It meant waking up at 6 AM and getting back to the room after midnight, but I was happy the whole time. My room, for what it was worth since I was never in it, was huge, with a kitchen, dining room, living room, double balcony with hot tub, two bathrooms, a stand up shower and tub and a huge bedroom with a comfortable bed. All this for a guy who'd be happy staying on a cot in a Motel 8, just to get to travel. I was definitely psyched for this first job on set, and a little nervous, but I did a good job and it paved the way for my trip to Vegas later in the month.
The crew and cast were amazing people and super nice. I was allowed to shoot the second camera during breaks and take photos of the models with my own camera as well. The photographs were high quality and arty, not typical stock shots of people on cell phones. The first night we were there, Erik did a fashion shot on the boat. Because of the dark, he couldn't focus, so Mike or I would aim a flashlight at the model's face. Growing tired of "on, off," we decided to use "peanut butter" and "jelly" as signal words. We were catered to non-stop, with a crew member whose sole job was to ensure our happiness and would bring us anything we asked for. I'm not used to luxury, so all this blew me away. I discovered that yachts in the Caribbean never run out of fresh lobster or Ting (the greatest grapefruit soda ever), despite me and Mike drinking it nonstop, and there's nothing more beautiful (despite how cliched it may be) than lying on the top deck while the boat's in open water, feeling the cool breeze in the warm night air and enjoying the stars.
The last day of the trip, I had 5 or 6 hours before I had to catch a nearly empty plane back to reality. I'd never been interested in visiting any of the island nations in the Caribbean before, figuring countries in Europe or a road trip across the US would be more interesting. That soon changed when I walked around Marigot, buying some interesting jewelery at the market while laughing at pasty cruise ship tourists, sampling a guavaberry colada (made using old timey island folk liquor recipes), picking up some for the trip home, visiting a local nude beach and wishing I could walk with my eyes closed, and seeing wild cotton and goats. Driving on the island was adventurous (dangerous as hell), and it was disheartening to see all the recent developments that would block locals from having beach access, turning the island over to the greed of the tourism industry. I regret not having been able to visit more of the island, to see the difference between the French and Dutch side, but only because I loved it so much and wanted to spend more time there. I had finally seen the allure to a tropical island getaway, and returned relaxed, if impatient to visit my next Caribbean island.
Right before I had blogged about my hatred for Suze Orman (which hasn't really abated) I went to Sint Martin, or St. Maarten as the Dutch prefer, for a photo shoot with work. We rented a 110 foot yacht for a few days and shot black people living luxuriously. I volunteered to model too, but was politely turned down. Something about being too good looking, and needing to man the computer to make sure everything turned out ok. I got to be the digital assistant, which means ensuring all the digital images capture correctly, checking focus, helping Erik, the photographer out in any way possible, making sure there's a minimum of things for me to retouch and flirting withe the pretty models.
It was an amazing shoot, despite the immediate setback of snow storms grounding our original departure. This slightly messed things up, as we were more rushed on the yacht and I lost out on a full day vacation on the island. I felt extraordinarily useful and an integral part of the shoot. In fact, when we got back the head of the department told me the shoot wouldn't have happened without me. The days were long, as the makeup artist and I stayed onshore while the rest of the crew and cast were all on the yacht. It meant waking up at 6 AM and getting back to the room after midnight, but I was happy the whole time. My room, for what it was worth since I was never in it, was huge, with a kitchen, dining room, living room, double balcony with hot tub, two bathrooms, a stand up shower and tub and a huge bedroom with a comfortable bed. All this for a guy who'd be happy staying on a cot in a Motel 8, just to get to travel. I was definitely psyched for this first job on set, and a little nervous, but I did a good job and it paved the way for my trip to Vegas later in the month.
The crew and cast were amazing people and super nice. I was allowed to shoot the second camera during breaks and take photos of the models with my own camera as well. The photographs were high quality and arty, not typical stock shots of people on cell phones. The first night we were there, Erik did a fashion shot on the boat. Because of the dark, he couldn't focus, so Mike or I would aim a flashlight at the model's face. Growing tired of "on, off," we decided to use "peanut butter" and "jelly" as signal words. We were catered to non-stop, with a crew member whose sole job was to ensure our happiness and would bring us anything we asked for. I'm not used to luxury, so all this blew me away. I discovered that yachts in the Caribbean never run out of fresh lobster or Ting (the greatest grapefruit soda ever), despite me and Mike drinking it nonstop, and there's nothing more beautiful (despite how cliched it may be) than lying on the top deck while the boat's in open water, feeling the cool breeze in the warm night air and enjoying the stars.
The last day of the trip, I had 5 or 6 hours before I had to catch a nearly empty plane back to reality. I'd never been interested in visiting any of the island nations in the Caribbean before, figuring countries in Europe or a road trip across the US would be more interesting. That soon changed when I walked around Marigot, buying some interesting jewelery at the market while laughing at pasty cruise ship tourists, sampling a guavaberry colada (made using old timey island folk liquor recipes), picking up some for the trip home, visiting a local nude beach and wishing I could walk with my eyes closed, and seeing wild cotton and goats. Driving on the island was adventurous (dangerous as hell), and it was disheartening to see all the recent developments that would block locals from having beach access, turning the island over to the greed of the tourism industry. I regret not having been able to visit more of the island, to see the difference between the French and Dutch side, but only because I loved it so much and wanted to spend more time there. I had finally seen the allure to a tropical island getaway, and returned relaxed, if impatient to visit my next Caribbean island.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Still not much going on
It's about 10 minutes later, and I still hate her. It's bordering on loathing. Stop pushing your book, yo. The Suze Orman of my apt. keeps talking also. It's getting difficult to drown her out.
Nothing is going on right now
Suze Orman (pronounced Suuuuuz Annoying) is rapidly overtaking David Caruso as most annoying television personality. She's probably not that smart, deals with morons who can't count or figure things out on their own, and smells like rotten cabbage. I kind of hate her.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Discovering the Cookie Bunny
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wqxFJj9V7U
My friend J$ recently passed along this exquisite clip from Sesame Street, which teaches youngsters many important life lessons:
My friend J$ recently passed along this exquisite clip from Sesame Street, which teaches youngsters many important life lessons:
- White cookies are completely different than blue cookies
- Both are delicious, in their own special ways
- Plausible deniability. When Ernie tells Cookie Bunny that one plus two equals three, he responds "It's possible." Just in case, at some latter point, he receives intelligence countering that mathematical claim.
- Ernie's kind of a prick. He keeps berating Cookie Bunny with "1 plus 2. 1 plus 2," never offering any advice or shortcuts to doing the math, like counting the cookies. Unreasonable pressure to do addition causes many children to turn to a life of crime and alcoholism. I sure hope Cookie Monster won't suffer the same fate. I mean, Bunny.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Nerds Discover Even Smaller Something or Other
Extra, extra! Read all about it! Scientists create even smaller transistor. Most people don't know what that is. Extra, extra!
I came home the other day, and that's how Dynamo greeted me. Well, a little less like a 1930's news-hawking newsboy, but still with great enthusiasm. Apparently, transistors are used somehow in computer chips. Now, since these new transistors are no longer "leaky," in 17 years they will replace silicone chips and nano-technology will be for real. Computers and devices which utilize computer chips (such as fancy cell phones, my blender and my Kate from Lost action figure) will be shrunken down to fingertip size.
This is a scary idea. Has anyone ever seen a movie that takes place in the future where people have finger-tip sized Dells and nothing bad happens? No? That's because bad things ALWAYS happen. In 17 years, we're going to find out the only thing keeping the Terminator and those 3 freaky things from Minority Report away was large computers. You'll see. Don't let the most likelier than likely inaccuracies and blatant falsities written above lead you astray.
I came home the other day, and that's how Dynamo greeted me. Well, a little less like a 1930's news-hawking newsboy, but still with great enthusiasm. Apparently, transistors are used somehow in computer chips. Now, since these new transistors are no longer "leaky," in 17 years they will replace silicone chips and nano-technology will be for real. Computers and devices which utilize computer chips (such as fancy cell phones, my blender and my Kate from Lost action figure) will be shrunken down to fingertip size.
This is a scary idea. Has anyone ever seen a movie that takes place in the future where people have finger-tip sized Dells and nothing bad happens? No? That's because bad things ALWAYS happen. In 17 years, we're going to find out the only thing keeping the Terminator and those 3 freaky things from Minority Report away was large computers. You'll see. Don't let the most likelier than likely inaccuracies and blatant falsities written above lead you astray.
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