Life is Like a Box of RPGs

Not the rocket-propelled grenades, but the Role-Playing Games. Yes, I play some. Yes, I'm a bit of a dork, and I'm ok with that. Once I realized that many RPGs allow you to befriend bears or dragons, I was hooked. I draw the line at things like Magic: The Gathering, and I don't play World of Warcraft (but nor do I mock it). I recently got hooked on Dragon Age: Origins, which features many customizable characters who will join your party, including an intelligent, but non-speaking dog, a drunk dwarf and a sexy witch. One of the main aspects of these games is completing quests, which are divided into essential ones which advance the main story line, and side-quests, which you obtain by making conversation choices with characters you come across. Often times, you're forced to return to characters several times and make decisions as you pick up new information.

After playing the game for many hours over many days, I started to see my life as an RPG. Two relatives of mine were having issues with each other, and I accidentally got caught in the middle. After speaking with one, I went to the other, and heard a different side of it. It became a "he said, she said" situation, but with grown-ups. Luckily, my orb of truth was able to reveal any lies, so I transformed into a spirit wolf or some shit and attacked with my sword, Fangs of Carnage. Problem resolved.

Poor NBA Workers, Unite!

HD and I have been playing the Association in NBA 2K10 for 2 seasons now. For those who don't know, you play a full season, with full control over everything on your team, including coaches, and then there's an offseason when you can make trades, sign free agents, draft rookies and improve your players. Your players stats go up by how well they play and how happy they are. We're currently up to re-signing our players, which includes Jamal Crawford, who used to make 9 million dollars a year. I'm not sure if he undervalued himself due to injury, has low self-esteem, really wanted to play for us or what, but he was only asking for a million dollars a year. I thought, great, we can sign another really good free agent and have some money left over. HD, on the other hand, was distressed a little bit by this and thought maybe we should give him more money. His first thought was the worker's don't make enough. We're on the same team here; we're ownership! Dynamo's liberal tendencies are such that he felt VIDEO GAME Jamal Crawford wasn't making enough on his contract and we should help him out, so he could support himself, his video game family and his video game lifestyle.