Rock the Bells, yo

This past Saturday I, along with 3 of my cohorts, made the trek to Randall's Island for the 2007 Rock the Bells festival (sponsored by SanDisk, Heineken, Port-A-Potties and the Get Busta Rhymes Lots of Legal Help Fund). The 2-stage lineup was mostly hip-hop oriented, with Rage Against the Machine headlining. I held my head when the beat dropped for Mos Def and Talib Kweli, listened to Flavor Flav blather on about something or other, learned what it meant to be a rock superstar with Cypress Hill, faked dancing to the Roots and threw my W's up for the Clan. Arriving later in the afternoon, I had missed Pharoahe Monch, EPMD, Jedi Mind Tricks and unfortunately Immortal Technique.* Fortunately, that also meant I missed David Banner. Even though my arrival was tardy, I still had plenty of time to conduct research. I was able to prove my theory that high priced rap festivals (according to one rapper, where hip hop lives and not one of those fake hot 97 concerts) are THE place to go if you want to see drunk, shirtless white guys stumbling around.

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I recently got new glasses, which I was all psyched for. The nice lady at the glasses store told me they were revolutionary, trendy ahead of their time and looked great on me, and recommended them over a more expensive pair. I was hooked and tried them on multiple times. Having picked them up last week, I realized one fatal error I made in judgment: I can't see out the sides of either eye due to a protruding ear piece in the way. This was abundantly clear when I had to yank them off hastily while driving. If these are my "horse blinders," then what the hell was I wearing when I first looked at them?

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Someone I live with who isn't me recently made a huge, horrible, awful, unforgivable mistake. They bought Aquafresh's Berry Fresh flavor toothpaste. "But L-Bo, what's the big deal? You routinely devour blue, black, rasp, and gooseberries, and love being fresh (to death nothin less)." The big deal is this toothpaste is vile. It's the worst thing I've ever tried to brush my teeth with, it's the Keystone Ice of minty teeth cleaning supplies, and it belongs in the Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans box.

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In light of this article, I got to wondering: is Pacman a troubled football player who may wind up in a jail, or a terrific criminal who sometimes plays defensive back?


*Immortal Technique, aka Felipe, was the terror of the high school playground. I fondly remember Anthony Roque fondly retelling the time he stood up to Felipe. "He was going to put me in the garbage can, but I was like 'nah,' and I jumped in myself. Take that, Felipe!" Now, Immortal Technique is getting shoutouts from Zachk de la Rocha and the only thing he's kickin is nasty rhymes. Word.