Farmville: Farming For Dummies

Fuck Farmville! This facebook application, which constantly pervades the walls and news feeds of everyone's page, has gotten me addicted. At first, it was a passing interest, due to seeing my sister have ducks and reindeer on her farm.* I've since quickly mastered the game, and am level 23. It's my way to keep my farming ability at peak condition during these cold, snowy, wintry months, when us REAL FARMERS (and backyard gardeners) are forced to live vicariously through a video game. And an unrealistic one at that.

Sure, Farmville teaches kids about the joy of farming, but it leads them to an unrealistic view. Where's the 5 AM cock crowing wake up call? The shoveling slop for the animals? Live animal births? You don't even get to fatten up your pigs for delicious bacon, instead getting them to find truffles for you. Even though I wish it were true Elephants and penguins can't coexist. On a farm. In a temperate zone. GOSH! Plum trees aren't purple, kids. And don't get me started on the lack of crop rotation! Sure, it's a start, but I won't rest until they make a Farmville as realistic as the Sims, where the reindeer actually pull their own weight and squash takes the normal 60 - 75 days to maturity.

*Yes, that's all it takes. I'm a sucker for reindeer and things that say "Quack."