Beardsley

I've been growing a huge beard for about 4 months now, chin-strapped on the sides and long in the goatee area. My mom and sister hate it and I'm scared they'll shave it off when I sleep. So I moved and didn't tell them where to. They told me I look like Abraham Lincoln, which I think is a great compliment. He was one of our greatest presidents, after all. Between that and my current elevated position at the Census, I'm sure I'll be able to make a strong run for US Senate next year. Or whenever they wanna let me apply for that job.