Hollywood Birthday Presents

Thanks for the birthday present, Hollywood.  Once again this year, you've created a Marvel comics-based movie just in time to celebrate me, and along with a few other titles, that, although they didn't come out on my ACTUAL birthday, were still probably made with me in mind.  Chief amongst these is Avengers, which is a fantastic follow-up present to last year's Thor, a movie I've been wishing for at least the last 12 birthday candle blow-outs.  A movie about the Norse God of Thunder, who also just happens to be my favorite Marvel super-hero, had big shoes to fill.  Which it did.  Fill the shoes, I mean.  The only way to make this a better birthday present last year was to have Natalie Portman share equal time shirtless with Chris Hemsworth.  But back to this year.  As if Thor, the amazing Robert Downey Jr and equally amazing, but for different reasons, Scarlett Johannson weren't enough, Avengers gets HAWKEYE, my favorite archer not named Robin Hood, played by Jeremy Renner (of Unusuals unfame).


But the present parade doesn't end there.  Presumed abducted by aliens, writer Gideon Defoe makes a triumphant return with his The Pirates! Band of Misfits movie, which appears to combine multiple books into one cartoon movie.  As if just creating the movie wasn't enough, my friend Hollywood also asked David Tennant, aka the best Dr. Who ever, to voice a character.

Wait, there's more?  How could Hollywood be so generous, you may ask.  We go way back.  Coming out in a few short days is RIHANNA'S acting debut!  Sure, it's in the sure-to-be-crappy Battleship, which is SO untrue to the original game, but it's still a movie with Rihanna in it.  I'll assume this was Hollywood's idea of a gag gift.  Still, I'm definitely sending you a Thank You card this year, 'wood.

Spheres of Knowledge

I've always thought of myself as intelligent and smart. Mostly because people tell me I'm intelligent and smart, but also because I can fill out over HALF of the Metro crossword on a Monday, which is definitely the hardest day of the week. I surround myself with smart friends, and I only date smart women. Recently, however, I was dating a woman who made me question that fundamental belief in my own intelligence.

Some of my friends know things that I don't, and are really into topics, like computers and computer related stuff, that I'm not and I don't get. For example, there have been many conversations with Dynamo that have gone over my head, like this one, this one, or this one. With this lady, I was sometimes in awe of her intelligence. She seemed to constantly be able to speak intelligently and intellectually about whatever was in front of us, wherever we were. Her expertise, including Judaism, things Jews do and do not do, stuff Jews like, art, history of art, Jewish art and it's place in history, gender roles, sex therapy and gay affirmative therapy, seemed to pop up in everyday life all the time. My spheres of knowledge and expertise, which include the Mets, Thor, Green Lantern, bears, planting tomatoes, solving SAT geometry problems and knowing that cats are B-A-D/fundamentally evil, on the other hand, were not common in everyday life ever. Maybe in the future I'll stay out of gay Jewish art museums and stick to dates at Citi Field with women who work at a zoo.