Polar Bear Picking

In a last ditch effort to attract a polar bear companion, Dynamo and I painted our new condo. Planning for days, we decided to paint it white. But not just any white. Polar Bear white. And not just any Polar Bear white paint, but Behr Premium Plus. You know, for more Behr attracting action. While Behr is spelled incorrectly, I can assure you their logo is an actual bear, which in turn reassured me that my plan would work.

So far, however, all I've gotten is 3 kittens and one cat, who may or may not be feral but are ridiculous cute anyway, that crap a lot in our condo's shared backyard.

While this is a hotly debated issue, I've come up with a few reasons why so far a polar bear hasn't sauntered into our living room:

1. I calculated incorrectly, and their favorite color is yummy seal gray or coca-cola black
2. It's not yet cold enough
3. The paint that attracts them is flat finish; we used eggshell and semi-gloss