Twitterdee and Twitterdum

Maybe I'm a little late to the Twitter-bashing bandwagon, if there is even one. That's because none of my friends do it, unless it's a secret little hobby of theirs, hidden from those who will certainly mock them incessantly. That all changed when someone who I had much respect for (I still have some respect man, come fix my lights!), HD's brother, told HD to check him out on Twitter. On it, he gave up to the minute details of his bathroom habits.

Sure, I have a blog, which means I think I have something important or funny to say, and am vain enough to hope people read it, yet practical enough to know that I can count my followers on two hands. However, I would never be arrogant enough to expect people to care about constant status updates. On the flip side, I don't care about my friends' minutiae, and if I did, we'd talk about it in person or on the phone. Now, celebrities Twitter and get a loyal following. There was a big story about how Ashton Kutcher had more followers than CNN. Who cares? Celebrity or not, there's not a single person on Earth I think is interesting enough to care about following their day-to-day exploits in 140 character-or-less posts, except maybe Jessica Biel in the hopes she'd announce her love of me.

Lastly, do you really have anything important to say if you're doing it in less than 140 characters? Nowadays we need our information bitesize and instantaneous, leading to more stupid stories spreading farther and faster and helping to further moronize America. I had hoped Twitter would be an annoying fad, but unfortunately, like capri pants on guys and Dane Cook, it seems here to stay. Go read a book, learn how to spell, and come up with something of substance