St. Lucia Vol. 7 - Revenge of the Sun

The last full day we spent in St. Lucia, we got a tremendous hookup from Alison, HD's cousin's ladyfriend. Most of the trip we kept things cheap and therefore missed out on some of the activities I was interested in, like fishing for marlins or taking an all gold yacht to Martinique. Alison works at one of the major resorts on the north end of the island, and she was able to get us a day pass to the hotel, entitling us to use the beach and it's water sports and eat all their delicious food and drink as much LLB as possible.

First up was snorkeling. I wish I lived closer to reefs or was a better swimmer, because it's really tough to go snorkeling for tropical fish in Brooklyn. Getting a glimpse into a magical, colorful and alien world transports you. It's peaceful and exciting. You're an intruder, yet no one makes you feel unwanted (and with the exception of not having gills, you totally fit in). I learned to stay away from sea urchins (they have many sharp pointy spine things), not to swim too close to rocks when the current is bashing waves against them, and that it's really hard to catch fish. I chased a small school, swimming amongst them, and tried to catch them, but only managed to look like an aquatic zombie.

Next up in the aquatic adventure queue was learning to sail a small boat. Seemed easy enough. It was a 2-man job, yet we saw people going solo. One of the guys took us out and we thought we had everything down. As intuitive as it was for HD to do it, it was the opposite for me. All I wanted to do was the dangerous, fast turn (jibe? cut? jive? who knows) which would lead to the boat capsizing if I didn't let the sail out all the way. Well, the boat did almost capsize, after Dynamo fell overboard, but in a heroic moment, I dove across and steadied the other side of the deck and then helped him back on board. Just call me Captain. Our troubles on the medium seas were far from over. There was the sail detaching from the deck, which led to the guys coming out and reattaching it. Then there was general confusion, which we weathered. Finally, the wind completely changed and we were unable to make it back in from the bay, so the guys had to come back out again and give us step by step instructions. And when that didn't work, push us a little bit too.

Jet-skiing didn't work out too well either. Once again, I may have underestimated the skill it takes to stand on skis on water while a boat pulls you and gravity, physics and other sciences try to make you fall over and get eaten by a shark. After falling 3 times before I even got up, having my arm feel like it was about to tear off, and getting hit by the boat, I decided to give up. HD fared much better, eventually getting the rope and following behind the boat. Everything looked good, until all of a sudden his boat stopped while pretty far out, for about 20 minutes. At first, I could see the tips of his jet skis, but eventually I only saw one person, and that was the driver. It turned out that the line had gotten stuck in the engine, causing the boat to stop. Because they need engines to go, apparently. Luckily, Dynamo wasn't eaten by an octopus as I originally feared (not even maimed, surprisingly) and the large British lady who was next to jet ski didn't punch him in the face as she originally threatened.

Finally, there was kayaking. Dynamo was all watered out, so he left to have dinner with his sister. I decided it was time to do some ocean/bay kayaking by myself. It started raining and it the sky was overcast, but I didn't care. I love being in a kayak. After a while of conquering the sea, I noticed a man lying on the sand being tended by a bunch of people. Upon returning to shore, I found out he had been stung by jellyfish and was having a severely allergic reaction. So severe that he was on oxygen and a stretcher. I was very happy to find out about the deadly jellyfish after I was out with them, rather than at a time where it would have done me some good. Alison saw the ambulance and heard I was kayaking by myself and assumed I had drowned or something horrible. I don't see why. Kayak. Master. For real.

I'm not, however, the master of sun block. Apparently sun block is a great idea for white folk in the Caribbean, even when they're pretty sure their legs are covered by the umbrella. Both of my legs were fully lobsterized, from toes to thighs, on both sides. The full effect didn't hit me until later, as good sunburns often don't. The next morning, I couldn't stand straight or really support myself, let alone walk. Luckily, pain killers exist. I was on some prescription strength meds for 4 days before I could move without crying like a man. Some knowledge was acquired from this tragedy, however. Lucians don't really know what sunburn is. Probably one of the many benefits of being dark skinned and all. Sure, if they stood in the sun for about 16 days straight, they might get a little tanner, but that's about it. Therefore, I got asked a lot of questions, like "what is sunburn?" "what does sunburn feel like?" "does that hurt at all?" and my favorite, "why did you get sunburned if it hurts so much?" If only I'd remembered how melanin deficient I am, this might have all been avoided!