Conversation with woman from online dating site who I never met, but spoke with 6 months ago, then started dating someone else, now back in the dating game, and hoping to woo her into going out with me, since she was of the mind set that I was very inconsistent and inconsiderate:
Scorned woman: What do you do for a living? I've forgotten
Me, pluckily: I'm a CIA agent/photographer/urban farmer/leg model
Her: unemployed?
Me, truthfully for the first time in too long, and triumphantly: Actually, no
Her: I'm guessing you are a photographer
Me, hysterically: That's cause you haven't seen my legs yet
Her, in a textual tone that let me know my goal wasn't working: Oh god
Me, trying to answer for real: I am a photographer. I'm working at a photo agency right now. I teach. And I AM an urban farmer. But I'm not a hipster.
Her, possibly disappointedly, and definitely breaking fundamental rules of English 101: But you aren't a leg model. And you aren't a CIA agent.
Me: I can't confirm or deny that last one.
In the end, my charisma, charm and pluckiness won out and we went on some dates. I ended up ending it, rather inconsiderately.
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1 comment:
"What do you do for a living?" Clearly a gold digger. I hope you made her pay for everything. Non-hipster urban farmers are a rare and magical breed. She should have lavished you with the finest whole wheat pastas and unlabeled orange sodas. You are better off without her.
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