Mr. Peanut Is Coming For You

Stewart Parnell, owner of Peanut Corp. of America, is a no class giant peanut-head who can't even come up with a better name for his company than what they process. Recently, he decided to plead the fifth amendment in front of Congress when asked if he was a giant douchebag with no regard for the safety and well being of others as long as it meant turning a profit. If you haven't heard, Parnell is involved in the tainted-peanut salmonella outbreak, responsible for a number of deaths and many hundreds of cases of reported sickness. Most likely, he'll escape with a slap on the wrist, a fine that will mean nothing to him because he'll pass the cost onto the consumer or reduce wages. When the tainted milk scandal in China finally came to light, two of the men responsible were sentenced to death while another is serving a long jail sentence. Whatever their problems, at least China is now putting out a message to corrupt heads of businesses. It's as subtle as a head on a pike in front of a castle, but the meaning is clear.

I'm no advocate for the death penalty, but the US needs to get tougher food laws put in place. The problem is that the whining from the food industry's lobbying efforts is so loud, it drowns out all common sense and thoughtful recommendations. "We're going to lose money if we test our food to make sure it doesn't contain deadly diseases, or if we provide job training to the people who handle the food everyday and sometimes don't wash their hands, or are overworked and make mistakes and lose limbs," they cry. Japan and Britain were able to eradicate mad-cow disease in just two years by carefully testing their cattle supply and enforcing strict mandates on the food industry, such as not feeding infected dead animals to other livestock animals. They didn't even have to use genetic engineering for it, imagine that! The industrial-agro machine in the US is allowed to have voluntary recalls, to block inspectors advice, and to generally be assholes whenever they feel like it. Food safety is pushed back on the consumer, since it can't be, or won't be, enforced in the factory. "Make sure you cook your food thoroughly, because we may have allowed some awful disease to remain in this product we're selling you," they caution, while building forts out of million dollar bills. Break out the pikes and severed heads; it's time for change and stronger consumer protection.