Entertainment Tonight

I've been neglecting this blog recently, which I'm sure upsets most of the internet world, but with my recent foray into smarter subject matter, I've acquired such an immense amount of knowledge I was forced to retreat to the moon so my intellect wouldn't dwarf and overwhelm the citizens of Earth. True-ish story. Taking a cue from Dynamo, who originally took a cue from me, since I invented the movie review, I'm going to drop some critical critique as a critic might.

A month or two ago, I saw The Wrestler, which I can say without exaggerating, was unbelievably good. One of the main reasons was the actors in it. Like K-Kwik, aka Ron "the Truth" Killings, the greatest wrestler of forever. Yes, K-Kwik was in the movie. I knew Marisa Tomei still looked good, but having her topless in the movie? Bravo, director. Bravo. Mickey Rourke plays a washed up wrestler who constantly screws up and has a semi-estranged, possibly-lesbionic daughter. He can't walk away from the fame or the game, despite heart problems, failing health, a desire to do good again and man boobs. I don't know if they used anyone as a model for his character, "The Ram," but he reminded me of Shawn Michaels mixed with Mr. Perfect. There's a very clever scene, where Ram is working as deli man in a supermarket and walks out, through the corridors, mirroring a wrestling entrance. K-Kwik was in the movie, as well. While I've never been a famous person, nor a washed up celebrity, I found I could relate to his character, and even though I knew the movie wasn't real, I connected with Ram and kept hoping he'd make good choices and turn his life around for the better. This, plus the inherent likeability of Rourke's character, made it one of the best movies I saw all year, up there with Dark Knight. Did I mention K-Kwik was in the movie?

The only way Slumdog Millionaire is better than The Wrestler is if it stars Forrest Whitaker as a stealthy, loyal samurai and was actually called Ghostdog Millionaire. Don't get me wrong, the movie was fantastic and I'd like to hang out with Dev Patel in real life. I'd even consider hanging out with his ridiculously beautiful co-star Freida Pinto. You know, if she asked nicely and all. I just couldn't relate to the characters in Slumdog, having never lived in the slums or had such a hard-knocks life. Annie ain't got shit on you, Jamal! Except, maybe, weird zombie eye sockets. It was heartwarming and yadda yadda, I'm sure you've already read or heard enough about the movie from the media. My only major beef with the movie is how much destiny between Jamal and Latika is emphasized as an important plot point, yet never shown to the viewer. After they originally cross paths as little children, they meet again many times. This is however due to Jamal's dogged stalking ability, rather than any sense of fate or destiny. By the way, spoilers coming up. As for them being together, they never kiss before the end of the movie, and there's never even much interaction shown between the two of them. It feels like nit-picking, because this was a teriffic feel-great movie, but I don't believe it was the best of the year. Freida, I'm in Midwood, Brooklyn, in case you wish to convince me otherwise.