Wolverine Oranges

Think about it. They'd have sharp claws, and constantly regenerate. You could make UNLIMITED juice from them, I'd imagine! This is what HD heard when I told him I saw the new X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie...which conveniently leads me into a review of the film. You're welcome.

Marvel hasn't realized yet they need to consult Casey and myself before releasing a movie where they massacre our childhood heroes. What the hell are those exo-suits in GI Joe and why is there no Roadblock? Despite knowing there was a hobbit on the Weapon X team and in all likelihood Marvel messed up parts of the storyline, I was excited for the movie. A lot of whiny fanboys were whining that the interesting part of Wolverine's origins is how mysterious and confusing it is, so showing us the origins would foul all that up. Who cares? GAMBIT, YO! And Lynn Collins. Ain't nothing wrong with that! The movie was good, not X-Men 2 good (Colossus, Rebecca Romijn, daaaaaamn), but that all came crashing down in the last 15-20 minutes. List, please!

1. If you have Gambit in a movie, you best use him. A lot. Make him a good guy, make him bust ass, and throw lots of cards. All-american Friday Nights boy was not mysterious enough to play Remy LeBeau. Also, Cajuns have CAJUN accents, and say "mon ami" a lot. Check your facts, Gavin Hood.

2. Deadpool is the MERC WITH A MOUTH. Sewing his mouth shut defeats all that. Giving him Cyclops' eye lasers was stupid and unneccesary, as was Bradley Bolt's stupid ability so he could be controlled. How are they going to make a Deadpool movie, now that they killed him off? Everyone knows you can never ever ever bring comic book characters back from the dead.

3. There was NO reason for Cyclops to even be in the movie.

4. Patrick Stewart looked to be made of plastic at the end. O yea, spoiler alert. Patrick Stewart is in the end of the movie, and not as Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

5. Emma Frost can turn herself into diamond, NOT sequins. She looked like someone bedazzled her.

6. The whole end of the movie was made to spoon feed the viewer, so that everything nicely leads into X-Men 1. I felt the same way after watching the new Star Wars. It's ok to leave some things hanging. We're not idiots.