Me vs. You

I finally found someone I could compare myself against favorably pretty much every time. That's right, baby Maren, I'm calling you out. It's really your mom's fault, as she started bragging about how you were 10 pounds when you were born. Me? I'm 200. Solid muscle. That's 20 times your weight, baby Maren. TWENTY! What else am I better at than you?

1. I'm a better photographer.
2. I speak English more good than you.
3. I can walk. WHAT WHAT!
4. I'm a better basketball player than you.
5. Two words: origami swans.
6. I have a better grasp of technology and the internet than you.
7. I can stay awake more hours a day than you. Barely.
8. Two more words: solid food.
9. Ability to use toilet on own.
10. I cry less.

That's all I'm gonna say for now; I don't want you to get a complex. But that's only because I'm more thoughtful and kinder than you.