After a year and a couple months, James Cash is abandoning our happy home for the chance to live with his girlfriend. He assures me it's not cause she's prettier than me, but I have my doubts. This means I need a new roommate by the end of the month. I'd prefer one with the initials JC, as I've gotten quite used to running around the house singing "James Cash, James Cash, what ya gonna do, what ya gonna do when...," but this appears to be unlikely. While Pris' offer of exiling her messy brother to Brooklyn and the possibility of crazy folks on Craigslist sounds appealing, I've decided the best course of action was to trick HD into moving back in.* Using my wit and wiles like Mr. E. Coyote, I came up with the following great reasons for the Human Dynamo to move back to Brooklyn:
1. He'll have a 40 inch flat screen TV (that is his and he'll be able to share with me).
2. Driving from Brooklyn to Parsippany, New Jersey everyday at 6 AM is fun. Who doesn't like rush hour traffic or rubbing sleep out of your eyes in time to avoid hitting a Miata?
3. Driving from Brooklyn to Parsippany, NJ (and back again) everyday at 6 AM is much more convenient than having his boss pick him up in Jersey City.
4. We'll have two XBox 360's, which means we can play 8 player Gears of War 2 on our new large TV.
5. Everything's in Russian!
6. We can go on double dates with Hasidic twins!
*Second best course. First best was to turn the downstairs room into a grizzly bear or polar bear hangout spot.
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3 comments:
1. You got a 40" TV? That is gonna have to go in my room.
2. The drive will likely star @ 5:30am cause it is a more awesome time.
3. I was getting bored of sleeping in the car and being woken when it was time to walk in. I'm a blue collar kinda guy, I don't need a driver.
4. All we need to do is find 6 other players.
5. Stolkanuk!!
6. Too bad both will be going home with me.
1. OK, fine. A correction. We now own a 46 inch tv, not a 40 inch tv.
4. Baird. Dom. Marcus. Tai. Cole-train. And the crazy driver guy who may be Texan.
6. That's fine, since we'll live in the same place.
4. His name is Dizzy and he loves Betty, as you should. Anya can take out some Horde as well.
6. Stolkanuk!!!
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