Persnickitily Picking Pumpkins with my Phamily

Every year, towards the end of September or beginning of October, my sister and I face the biggest and most important decision for that year: which pumpkin are we going to take home. It's an agonizing and slow process, involving weeding out lots of weaker offerings and plenty of advice asking. Really, it's a collaborative process. And that's why I'm glad the last couple years I've gone with my entire family, since my sister shares the same pumpkin picking philosophy as me. Furthermore, there's no competition, since she prefers a yellow-orange and tall shape while I go for rounder, slightly larger, deep orange-red with deep ribbing. Adds more character.

We go all out too. We're serious about our pumpkins. There are still some fields out on Long Island that haven't been turned into every-single-house-is-identical "communities" our strip malls. We go for that real shit too, where you can cut the pumpkins off their vines. This is pumpkin picking like it was meant to be, not some silly city pumpkins sitting in a box in a corner grocery. My only rule is that neither my sister or I can cut any pumpkins off the vine until we're certain they're a contender. Top 1 or 2 pumpkins we've seen so far.

Elimination can take some time, as all aspects of the individual pumpkin are studied, the specimen must have lasting power to stay in the apartment for months on end, and it must speak to you, call to you in some primal way. If man's best friend is a dog, then man's second best friend is a pumpkin. Damn, they're beautiful. Every fall, I wish I could just be surrounded by different, beautifully colored winter squashes all year long. Pumpkins and hubbards and potimarrons and buttercups and kobuchas and red kuris. Sigh.

This brilliant piece of writing sums up my feelings for Cucurbita pepo, maxima, mixta and moschata. However, if I had written it, there'd be no traces of irony present. That's how close to my heart these wonderful fall wonders are.

NY State apples. Represent, yo!

The Mr. Peanut pumpkin almost came home with me. Almost.

Selflessly guarding our pumpkin choices with his life

Pumpkin quorum. That's mine, front left, huge stem. WOW.

My sister, smiling due to pumpkin presence