Birthright Israel 1: The Land of Milk and Honey and ATMs

On Memorial Day, Monday May 26, 2008, at 11:50 PM local time, I departed, along with the rest of my Taglit Birthright group, Israel Outdoors, to Israel, determined to come back tan and fabulously wealthy. Also, due to a certain friend whose name rhymes with Para and starts with a D, I was convinced I was going to hook up with at least 30 beautiful Israeli women, and also whichever American women were on the trip. "My friend came back from Israel with a girlfriend, and he's gay." The pressure was certainly on.*

After a 10 hour flight that seemed not so bad upon landing, I started what would later become a trend by separating from the group at baggage claim and waiting outside for them for 30 minutes. Oops. Another trend of not being able to eat when hungry and traveling on the bus too much began here too. We drove north to a kibbutz (not the one we stayed at), where we quickly came to learn that the food we'd be eating was going to be low quality and cafeteria style (only 1 protein each!). We also learned that Israelis have Tang with all dinners and Kool Aid with all breakfasts, along with such oddities as peppers, tomatoes and cucumbers. Avner, our tour guide, proudly bragged about how Israelis eat more salad than anyone else in the world, but failed to manage how they don't actually eat this crappy food too.

While driving north, I was struck by the landscape. Not having traveled out of the country much, I expected to be overwhelmed by the change, yet the landscape didn't feel unfamiliar. It was Mediterranean in the north, and in many ways reminded me of Italy. While impressed by the beauty, I wasn't in awe as it felt comfortable. I was completely impressed by the amount of agriculture. The northern part of the country is a veritable greenhouse, with sunflowers and rosemary and humus trees everywhere. Throughout the trip I saw some cool wildlife, mostly birds I've never seen before, but a few hyraxes, ibexes, stray lizards and wandering camels.

My Israel adventure really started the next day, when we hiked around Nimrod's Castle in Galilee, or maybe it was in or near Golan Heights. We had a fantastic view of Syria, or perhaps Lebanon. I really don't remember which it was, as I tended to wander off and take photos rather than pay as much attention to the tour guide as I should have. In any case, it was really cool, and like much of Israel, incomprehensibly old. When forts and castles and roads are a thousand or more years old, you tend to scoff at our notion of Wrigley Field being old and monumental. From here, we went to visit Banias, which is not only the largest waterfall in all of Israel, but also home to the Keebler Elves' very first flour mill. The only photographic evidence I have of kayaking on the Jordan River is a shot of a bench and a french fry vending machine that was closed up. It was probably a good idea not to bring any of my cameras on the inflatable kayak that couldn't be steered straight as young Israelis (and our tour guide) love to splash and shout mostly nonsensical things in English to us American tourists. We finished the day at what was formerly Syrian bunkers on top of Mt. Bental. Nothing like packing into a room and then finding out it was a popular location for the soldiers to relieve themselves while listening to a joke that anon means "clouds" in Hebrew and there used to be a coffee shop at the top, so it was nicknamed Coffee Anon. Yea, I don't find it that funny either.


*In this series, you will read many things. All of them are based on notes I took in my travel journal or memories recollected from photos I took, so every word will be true. As usual.