Double Your Action

Have you ever opened a container of strawberries, or any other kind of fruit, to find one attached to another and you'd think to yourself "wow, a double strawberry! What did I do to deserve such awesomeness?" Well, this is like that, except you'll be getting two movie reviews in one blog, instead of two strawberries.

I recently saw hit action movies Wanted and Hancock, which share almost nothing in common except both made me say "Hell yea, Will Smith" and both jumped the shark in the middle. The Loom of Fate? Really? You couldn't come up with a better plot device than to make some sort of loom that controls the actions of people throughout history, causing a society of assassins to be formed and then, later, to be killed by Angelina's ridiculously curvy...bullet? Was the Toaster of Destiny already taken? The Typewriter of Truth too expensive to get? I had been enjoying the absolute ridiculousness of the movie, the wanton violence and crazy special effects, the whole time wondering how much of Angelina they'd show, when, BOOM. I now have to think about a fucking textile making machine as the power behind the story, and that ruined it for me. It makes me sick to think I once wanted to curve my bullets too.

As for Hancock, I'm perfectly enjoying myself, watching a drunk, inconsiderate superhero and his always funny PR man, Jason Bateman, try to change the public's perception of him, when out of nowhere, Charlize Theron is also a superhero. But things aren't what they seem to be, for these are gods or angels that were apparently created for no purpose other than to ruin what had been a good movie.