Things And Linens 'N Things

Recently, Linens N Things started having going out of business sales, but real ones, not the fake ones designed to lure in tourists in Times Square or Chinatown, or Russians in my neighborhood, where the store actually outlives everyone on Earth. This was most likely due to no one agreeing on whether the apostrophe came before or after "N."

Writing about the automotive industry and it's bailout got me thinking. Why is it OK for stores like Linens 'n Things and other big box retailers to go out of business, but if a car company does, it will take down the entire economy? Would an enterprising soul rise up and form a new shitty bed and bath store to fill the niche? Would Bed Bath & Beyond finally feel secure in it's market share, or would it expand? If neither happened, what would become of all the extra inventory?

The manufacturers wouldn't create stores, because for the most part, manufacturers don't want to interact directly with consumers, probably because most consumers are annoying and bring kids into stores who smear chocolate and whatever else happens to be in their hands/mouths all over the place. My guess is another department store would emerge, or maybe Sir Richard Branson will decide to scrap space tourism in favor of expanding the Virgin brand to include 400 thread count sheets and soap dishes.

Much of this is due to the rise of the department store, a one-stop-shop-and-drop for the lazy American inside all of us. Sure, the first department store can be attributed to Ireland in the 1830s, and Sears Roebuck and Macy's were rugged and glamorous in the late 19th/early 20th century, solidifying the department store in society. But now, led by Walmart and strip malls, department stores are aiming to take over the nation, bastardizing local culture in an increased homogenization and globalization designed to destroy individuality. Gone are local quirks and styles, replaced forever by cheesiness and the same landscape.

***

In other economic news (suck it Suze Orman!! Wait, no, don't.) the deflation that everyone is worried about isn't coming soon enough. Over the summer, when oil prices were sky high, wheat went up too. Now that oil has fallen dramatically, I assumed pizza would be normal price again. But wait a minute, that's not how economics works at all! Why drop the price of a shitty slice of cheese pizza to a buck fifty when you can continue to charge two twenty-five and claim cows are an endangered species or this is the last shipment of tomato sauce until the middle of 2009?