My Sonic Screw Driver Failed Me

After getting 100 on the US Census Bureau test, I was fairly certain they'd ask me to be a local manager, maybe even run the whole things. Odds were in my favor that I'd BECOME the census, and just guess how many people there are, what their ages, sex, race, religion and shoe sizes are, and where they live. I was called in Thursday night for a Friday morning interview, uncertain even of what position I was applying for.

It was rough preparing, as I had to squeeze into 8 year old khakis and throw on a fancy shirt. It's odd, but there's not much call for dress pants in the "sitting on the couch" industry. When I arrived at the address, I had to triple check to make sure, as it looked mostly abandoned. I almost didn't go inside, as I started thinking this was all a plot to recruit humans to be skinned or absorbed or dissolved or eaten to fuel some alien's insidious plot. I REALLY need to stop watching Doctor Who before I go to sleep.

My interview involved 4 people, which seemed to confirm I was there for a high level job. However, words used by the manager, like "clerk" and "office," seemed to refute my hypothesis. I wasn't prepared for some of the questions asked, like "why do you want to work for the census?" or "what are your strengths, and what are your weaknesses?" I wish I had paraphrased Nas and said I had no weaknesses, that way no one can move on me. The interview lasted 15 minutes, which meant I wasted 3 quarters at the meter. Why do people have to ask such tough questions at interviews?!?! Jerks.