Think long and hard next time you think about trying to fight the Constitution, because you'll have to go through me first. After being sworn in as an official US Census Bureau employee, I'm now allowed to defend the constitution against all enemies, both foreign AND domestic. If you thought 24 was gripping and raw, you ain't seen nothing yet. All enemies better stay hidden like camouflaged ninjas cause if I even see them GLANCE at the Constitution the wrong way, I'll take the Queenz bat* to them.
Somehow, despite having the most ambivalent interview ever, I was given a job as office clerk, to start training a scant 4 days after interviewing. Going against HD's first piece of advice, (more on that later), I wore a button down shirt and jeans. Arriving at the office, I noticed everyone in training was wearing a suit, or dress pants, tucked in shirt and a tie. I laughed at those clowns, thinking they were completely overdressed. Then I saw my manager in a suit. THEN I got the rules of the office, which included "all male employees are to wear a tie." I wondered what happened to the office I saw last week, with my manager in a thermal shirt under a t shirt. Ohhhhh, I slowly figured out, that was CASUAL FRIDAY.
The second piece of advice HD offered me was to make my lunch and breakfast the night before. Ridiculous, I said. If I did that, the jelly would leak through my bread and make my PB & J all soggy. Yuck. I ended up not having enough time to make both in the morning, and having to go without a sandwich. I did have a not soggy PB & J though, so, really...victory.
*The Queenz Bat is a bat James and I found when we were about 17, wooden, completely beaten up and possibly with traces of blood on it. It was clearly never used for playing ball, but rather for hitting things. These things might also be commonly called "people's body parts."
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3 comments:
solution to the soggy jelly bread: put peanut butter on both slices of bread. then put jelly on one slice. the peanut butter protects both slices of bread. genius.
genius meaning someone had to teach me this, i didn't come up with it on my own.
thanks, that is pure genius. is this finn the cat or finn the person?
i like to bring all my sandwich fixins to work and then make my lunch AT work to avoid this problem..but my concern was more for the tomato making my bread soggy (i dont rock pb&j as often as i should) but finn is correct. that IS the way to go. Congrats on the new job!
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